It's Christmas again. I used to hate this time of year until I had my daughter. Then, watching her delight at Christmas totally changed it for me. I couldn't wait to watch her get excited about Christmas and Santa and giving Jesus a gift for Christmas, a tradition my family has taken on since I was a child. I used to love Christmas.
Now I don't like Christmas so much. It's not that I don't like it, but I hate the way my Christmas has changed this year. Not having my daughter has changed absolutely every inch of my being. And it's changed Christmas. I don't have her to watch the Charlie Brown's Christmas, so I leave my tv off instead of trying to myself get through yet another Christmas special where everybody makes it out ok and is really happy. I should be happy...it's a happy time of year. I try not to beat myself up for having a rough time, but it's hard sometimes. I think that I should be fine since I take the lifetime supply of psychotrophic medication...ya know? Oh well....another day, another time, right?
I'm going to bed. I hope you all have a good night. Sleeping is my friend at this point. Thanks for reading
