Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's been too long...

     I had no idea that I hadn't blogged in so long.  It's been19 days since I've been on the computer.  On the 5th, I turned 33.  I got to spend the day with my parents.  We went to see the owl movie (totally can't remember the name of it) and ate my mother's fabulous spaghetti.  I got to talk to my nieces and nephew, and then finally got to talk to my daughter.  When she was ready to go, she said "ok, well, here's my mommy," referring to my sister-in-law.  I burst into tears.  I had tried to hold it together all day, but completely lost it at that point.  This stuff is so hard.  I had been staying with my parents because I've been having such a hard time with life in general.  I stayed there until last Friday.  I decided that I might be strong enough to go home.  Friday I did alright.  Saturday was harder.  Sunday was rough, as I continued to stay in bed.  Monday, late in the afternoon, I called my mother as I sat with  knife in my hand.  I decided to call for help instead of ending my life.  My posts will probably be short right now.  I just wanted to keep up with you guys.  Life is still extremely hard right now.  I'm ready for it to ease up.  I hope you're all doing well...which is to say that I hope you're all doing better than I am.  We'll talk soon.  Thanks for reading...