Today

Today has been a rough one.  Nothing in particular has happened, but with me nothing has to happen in order to have a bad day.  I think I'm realizing that I really am in this group home in east Jesus nowhere, and my "friends" are just as unstable as I am, if not more.  I'm extremely lonely and keep to myself.  My phone card ran out and I don't have any money to buy another one.  So, there's no real face to face contact, and no phone contact.  I don't say any of this in order to receive a pity party.  I'm just explaining why things are hard at the moment.  I'm back in school, which is a huge highlight in my day to day life.  I  love to learn and love to study (I never said I wasn't a dork). I guess I wish this could all happen on my terms.  I wish life would happen on my terms.  So much of the time I don't like the way God does things.  It's either too late, or too early, not good enough, or too hard.  But I'm realizing that it's not so much God as it is my hard-headedness.  If I were more submissive, let's say, maybe I wouldn't have so many difficulties.  Who knows??  I am the way I am, and I'm workin' on it.  Hopefully things will improve.  Until then, I'll probably stalk people on facebook, watch movies, and eat trail mix with Gatorade. Have a good night all.